


Broken Mirrors (Loki AU)

by revengingbarnes



Series: Broken Mirrors (Loki AU) [1]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Curse Breaking, Curses, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Loki (Marvel) Redemption, Magic Mirrors, Tortured Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:51:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengingbarnes/pseuds/revengingbarnes
Summary: When trying to completely erase HYDRA from the map, Tony discovers that the organization was dabbling into serious magic and spell work during their active days. In need of unconventional help, Tony calls on the God of Mischief himself for the task. After all, Loki is an expert in the particular field.However, even Loki is gobsmacked when he comes across a woman while digging into HYDRA’s magical artifacts. She’s young and frail, but cooperative enough. The catch? She lives in an old, antique mirror.





	1. Chapter 1

Loki didn’t like Earth much.

Even though all the damage he had done to the place years ago was under Thanos’ control, it didn’t mean he had any particular sympathies for the planet. Raised the way he was, Loki had standards that Earth just couldn’t rise up to. Earth wasn’t as grand and exquisite as Asgard, where magic was prevalent and everything felt like home. Midgard and Asgard were eons away in terms of development, Loki thought. The contrast was too glaring to ignore.

And the _people_. Loki shuddered at the thought. The people were…. primitive, to put it as nicely as possible. They weren’t ones Loki could see eye to eye with at all. Humans had a certain way of thinking that Loki couldn’t understand, nor did he want to. Even though his arrogance of being a god had tamed over the years, it didn’t mean he was going to get chummy with the Midgardians. He’d much rather keep his distance.

With all that in mind, it was no surprise that Loki tried to stay away from Earth as much as possible. That wasn’t hard to do, what with how much work had to be done to restore Asgard after Ragnarok. The whole situation kept him reasonably busy. Thor still visited Midgard from time to time, and he always suggested Loki come along. He refused every single time however, putting that task off as long as possible.

He knew he had debts to clear. He had caused some serious damage while he was there. Back then, times were more complex. He had been in shock after learning the truth of his life. He felt vulnerable, so he was easily manipulated. That made him succumb to what Thanos wanted. But Loki wasn’t naive. He knew he couldn’t blame it all on the Titan. He had been fiercely angry and wanted revenge. He wanted an outlet for his pain.

It just so happened that Earth took the brunt of it.

So when Thor called on Loki to discuss serious matters and ask for his help on Earth, Loki knew he couldn’t refuse.

He hesitated for a bit, mulling it over. Thor was patient with him, watching him from the corner of his eye, arms crossed. There was a bout of silence before Thor spoke up.

“This is your chance for redemption, brother.” He stated. “Stark needs your help and if you give it to him, you will have cleared your debts. It’s something you have been planning to do for a while, is it not?”

Loki might not see eye to eye with Thor much, but he had spent his entire life with him. They were brothers in every way that mattered. Thor could read Loki without even trying. This was one of those times.

Loki nodded slowly, sighing. “I suppose I can spare time for one visit…”

Thor clapped his hands together, a characteristic huge grin on his face. “Great! We’ll leave whenever you’re ready.”

As he walked away, Loki huffed out a breath. It seemed like a pain to go all the way there to help Stark of all people. At least he could get it over with now and never have to go back there again.

Silver lining, he supposed.

……………..

Midgard wasn’t much different from what Loki remembered. Same old hustle of the streets, same old noise and the characteristic smell. It was the Midgard smell, as Thor often childishly put it. He loved it. Said it reminded him of comfort and peace.

Loki didn’t care much for it.

The Avengers Compound, however, was starkly different now. A whole new building, actually. As Loki followed Thor down a clean, white hallway, he couldn’t help but hand it to Stark for the place he had made for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. It wasn’t half bad, though he would never admit that.

Loki realized this would be the first time he was facing Stark since the New York attack all those years ago.

The interaction went much better than Loki had originally anticipated. Stark was awkward, slightly stiff, but he didn’t lash out or make sarcastic comments. Loki could see that they were lingering on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t say them. And Loki had enough decency to not snoop around his mind.

There was a woman in the room with Stark, brunette, clad in maroon. Her eyes were strangely focused and attentive in a way humans’ eyes rarely were. Combine that with the power surging off her and Loki knew she wasn’t normal.

“Meet Wanda.” Tony said. “And you know Strange.”

Loki eyed the third figure in the room, giving him an uninterested look. “Yes, the…. sorcerer.”

Strange narrowed his eyes when he picked up the disdainful tone. He didn’t say anything though. It was clear Stark told everyone to hold their tongues with him.

“Why exactly am I here?” Loki asked, wanting to get straight to the point. This was already getting difficult to do.

Tony nodded and pointed to a screen behind him, making Loki’s eyes wander to it. On it were displayed various figures and pictures of what looked like ancient artifacts. Near the top was a round crest of some sort, red and black in color with bold, black words under it spelling ‘HYDRA’.

Loki knew of HYDRA vaguely. Thor had mentioned them in conversation once or twice. An evil, Nazi scientist group looking to breed chaos. That’s as far as his knowledge of them went. Now staring at the screen, he wish he knew more.

“Do you recognize any of these objects?” Tony asked, gesturing to the pictures. Loki stepped forward, eyeing the images curiously. They were of varying categories, dusty books, rusting jewelry, dirtied articles of clothing.

“No.” He replied.

“Are you sure?” Tony inquired again.

Loki turned to look at him, narrowing his eyes. “Should I?”

Tony shrugged and looked at Strange, who nodded. “They’re not exactly like they seem.”

Loki pursed his lips and looked back at the images. “They seem pretty ordinary to me.” He paused. “Perhaps if I were to see them in person…” He trailed off.

When he got no reply, he turned to look back at everyone. He caught the furtive looks they shot each other, rolling his eyes.

“Believe me, I have the least interest in running off with old, ragged Midgardian artifacts.” He bit out, making Tony sigh and move to the opposite side of the room. He typed in some pass code on a board next to a big, metal door. After some clicking and whirring noises, the door popped open. Loki felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand in attention, body going stiff.

Inside the room was an assortment of items, all looking like the ones on the screen. They looked exactly like Loki described them. Mundane. Mediocre at best. But the power…

Loki stepped into the room, frowning as he looked around. It seemed like the very air in the room was charged with negative energy. He could feel it seeping into his bones, making his cells vibrate. He looked back at the company of three behind him, all seemingly unaffected. He could see, however, the sceptical looks on Wanda and Strange’s faces.

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel that.” He managed to get out.

Tony looked confused, whereas Strange nodded.

“There’s definitely something.” He said. “I can’t pinpoint what.”

“Of course you can’t.” Loki replied. “This,” he gestured around him. “is an intense level of black magic. Every single object in this room is cursed.”

Tony looked at Loki like he’d grown two heads. “HYDRA and magic? Are you sure?”

Loki pursed his lips. “I wouldn’t lie about this.”

“It’s not impossible.” Wanda spoke up. “They knew of the Tesseract and the power it possessed. I wouldn’t put dark magic beyond their comprehension.”

Tony seemed deep in thought, trying to process all he’d heard.

“Where did you get these?” Loki asked, once again looking around. Notebooks, knives, utensils, rusty boxes.

“Found them in an old HYDRA base.” Tony replied. “With how tightly they were locked up, I had to know they were dangerous. I replicated the room they were closed in.”

“Explains why I only felt them when you opened the door.” Loki mumbled. “Smart plan.”

“So-” Tony shifted. “Can you undo it? Make these things…. normal again?”

Loki tapped at his chin, feeling the aura of the room again.

“I think yes.” He finally decided. “But it will take time. Curse breaking is a very complicated type of magic.”

“Take all the time you need.” Tony said. “We’ll have you set up in one of the rooms.”

Tony locked the room up once more when they stepped out, and Loki looked at Thor who’d been silently watching the whole interaction. He nodded and pushed off from the wall he’d been leaning against.

“I’m sure Loki would love that.” His voice boomed. “He likes challenges, don’t you?”

Loki glared at his brother but kept his mouth shut. He knew he had to do this. And he knew that meant he had to stay in Midgard. For at least a few months. This would take a while. Thor was giving him a huge grin. Loki knew what he was thinking. He thought spending time on Midgard would make Loki appreciate the planet. This was like a dream come true for him.

Loki seriously doubted it.

“Yes.” He bit out.

The room being sealed again meant that Loki’s nerves gradually started settling. It didn’t scare him. He’d seen dark magic before. The effects were transient and brief, and he was powerful enough to handle it, of course.

“Well, I’ll be back when you’re done and ready to go.” Thor spoke again, grinning at Loki. Bastard.

Loki watched him converse with Tony a bit before taking off, making him sigh and turn back to look at Wanda and Strange. They both wore apprehensive looks on their faces. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight to Loki.

This would be a long few months.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is where it starts! Let me know what y’all think!

As days went on with him staying in Midgard, Loki was sure he was going to lose his mind.

Firstly, no one here even liked him. The Avengers were all wary that he was there. He didn’t blame them, not after how their encounter with him had gone all those years ago. But the hush that fell over the room when he entered, or the looks they sent him when they thought he wasn’t looking were starting to get on his nerves. The side eyes were frankly disturbing, no matter how much he tried to act like it didn’t affect him. He would prefer they yell at him and get it off their chests but he knew this was more than just anger over a silly fight. He had pretty much destroyed their lives.

All this wouldn’t have bothered Loki if he didn’t have to live with these people. But he did, and he had to deal with the awkward air all day. He was quick to come up with a solution to his dilemma, however. All day, he would spend cooped up in his temporary room, reading incessantly through all the books he’d asked Thor to bring for him from Asgard. Although Loki was familiar with black magic, he wasn’t a particular expert at it. If he was going to even attempt to break the magic surrounding all those objects he was tasked with, he had to be proficient.

At nights, Loki would leave his room finally. Everyone would be deep in slumber and things would be peaceful enough. And of course, being alone never bothered Loki. In fact, he quite enjoyed solitude. But as the long days stretched on and even longer nights took their place, the constant lack of use of his mouth started to get the best of him. Despite loving the quiet, Loki admittedly missed talking to people. The Courts of Asgard were always bustling with life, and with people like Thor by his side every day, people who loved chatter and carried an air of cheer, the contrast was unsettling. Loki was never the conversational type, but he liked being included. He liked being around sound. It was how he had grown up, surrounded by Thor and the Warriors Three, who were frankly the noisiest bunch in his realm. He had always enjoyed their crude jokes and loud laughter, despite only being a background figure in their conversations. He would never say that to anyone, of course. But silence didn’t take away the truth behind the words.

The loneliness slowly encroaching on him only made him double his efforts to complete his task as quickly as possible so he could leave this stifling planet. For someone so proficient in magic, it wasn’t hard to grasp the information he was feeding his brain. And Loki had a knack for remembering bookish knowledge. Four days into his stay, he decided he was finally ready to visit the room and begin the practical work.

Tony opened the door for him the next morning, saying he was only a call away if Loki needed anything before disappearing, the door shutting behind him. Loki was much more prepared for the impact this time around, and the energy didn’t hit him as profoundly as before. He walked towards the middle of the room, looking around.

It was a small space, with steel reinforced concrete walls. The floor was clean, white marble. Despite how clean the room was, everything it contained was covered in grime.

“Where to start…” He mumbled to himself, taking in the clutter. Most items were covered with many layers of dust, but Loki could see that the move from HYDRA to here had taken some of the dirtiness off. They had to have been even worse looking before. He wondered how long they had been locked up and out of use as he walked around and took everything in. He picked up what appeared to be an ordinary, rusting box. There were runes etched on it, which to the normal eye would look haphazard and random. But Loki knew better. These symbols were Celtic, and very powerful. With the box in hand, Loki continued looking, realizing there was actually much more items than he had originally thought.

He nearly jumped at the sight of something moving in his peripheral vision until he realized it was just his reflection. Stupid, he thought, shaking his head. Eyebrows furrowed, he moved towards a full length, rectangular mirror with a broad, iron frame leaning against the wall to his right. Loki looked at the markings on the frame, frowning. These were new. He didn’t recognize the words.

He set the box down on the floor, standing right before the mirror. His own reflection stared back at him, done up in black and green. He saw his own eyes, curious but careful, for who knows how dangerous this object could be. He let his fingers touch the frame then, sucking in a breath at the sudden _zip_ that went through his skin. Yes, he had assumed right. Apart from whatever curses it held, the mirror was warded by strong binding magic. Confusion clouded Loki’s mind.

Binding magic was typically used to keep things in place. Which meant there was something in this mirror.

But _what_?

When the aura started to make him feel a bit more uneasy than usual, Loki stepped away from the mirror, lowering his head. He looked down at the box he was previously holding, bending down to pick it up.

Loki froze.

His reflection hadn’t moved when he had bent down. He was sure of it. Squeezing his eyes shut, Loki prayed to whoever was listening that his eyes were just playing tricks on him as he slowly rose up to his normal height, the box in hand.

He hadn’t been wrong. The reflection hadn’t moved. But it wasn’t his reflection at all.

Loki stared intensely at the figure before him in the mirror. It was a girl, shorter than him and standing up straight. She looked tired, almost afraid, as her eyes locked with his own. Loki shifted a bit, but she didn’t move. She watched his movements, the way his grip increased on the box in his hand. The way his muscles went rigid as if prepared for something to go awry.

“Who are you?” He managed to get out.

He didn’t know if it was the appropriate question to ask, but he didn’t even know where to start. There was so much running in his head. Did Stark know about this? Was she one of HYDRA?

“Y/N.” The girl replied, her tone was soft, and Loki might not have heard it if the room wasn’t so deathly silent. Her voice was hoarse, sounding like she hadn’t spoken in a while. She was looking at him almost hungrily, leaning forward slightly. Loki wondered how long she had been in there. How long it had been since she talked to someone. Her face was still blank. “Who are you?”

“Loki.” He cleared his throat. “Son of Odin.”

“Who’s Odin?”

_Oh_. Loki shuffled a bit, still taking in the girl. She was dressed in a white button down, tucked into a black full length skirt. Her dainty feet were bare, toes curled in as if she was cold. But her eyes… her eyes were hollow, almost eerily so. Tired and absent. Loki was half inclined to believe they were the eyes of someone who had gone mad. But he dismissed that assumption. She stood calmly enough to appear sane.

“Never mind.” He replied. “How- how did you get in there?”

The girl seemed to shrug. “I don’t know. One minute I was out there. The next I was in here.”

It made no sense, Loki knew that. But he entertained the idea anyway. He needed information, and he needed to be on guard. This was obviously what the binding magic was for. It was keeping this girl in. Loki couldn’t be sure who she was or what she was capable of to be sealed into something with security so strong to make sure she wouldn’t get out.

The girl’s eyes darted around the space behind him. “Where are we? We’re not at HYDRA?”

That piqued his interest, and Loki straightened. “You know about HYDRA?”

She pursed her lips in thought. “Yes.”

Her eyes had clouded again, Loki had noticed. She seemed deep in thought, and her expression.. It was sad. Forlorn. Loki halted that conversation thread, making a mental note to ask her another time.

“How long have you been in there?” He inquired instead.

She was looking behind him, as if still assessing the room she was in. “Don’t know.” She replied with disinterest. “It’s been so long, I lost track of time.”

Judging by what she was wearing, it had to be nearly a century.

Loki was noticing more the longer he looked. Like the dark circles under her eyes, or the weakness of the little movements she did make. Her hair was limp, as was the rest of her body. Her expression was empty. Haunted.

Loki struggled to say something. He had a million questions, but he didn’t want to overwhelm her. She was his only lead to figuring out whatever was going on here. Briefly he wondered if he should call Stark, but he disregarded the idea. He didn’t want to create a fuss and scare her away. He had to keep this to himself until he had some answers.

“Do you know why you’re in there?” He settled with asking.

She looked at him then, hollow eyes meeting his own. Her blank expression broke, replaced by a regretful look. “Because I’m a monster.”

“You’re-” Loki took a breath. “Why do you say that?”

“Because they told me.” She replied.

“Who’s they?” He pushed, confusion riddling his brain. “HYDRA?”

She didn’t answer, just stared blankly into space.

“I’m tired.” She mumbled. Before Loki could reply, she was gone.

Loki stared at his own reflection, watching the look on his own face. He wore a shocked, confused expression, looking almost breathless. It pretty much summed up how he felt. He gritted his teeth in frustration, stepping closer to the mirror. He had asked too much and scared her away. He should have been more careful.

“Hello?” He called. “Y/N?”

Nothing happened. He kept staring at his face.

Huffing out a breath, Loki turned his back to the mirror, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was no closer to figuring out what was going on. He only came in here to break some curses. He never would have predicted something like this.

His work just got ten times harder than he thought it would be.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki’s room was modest in appearance. The floor was a clean, white marble, the walls white concrete. The window sill, as well as the door, was painted black. A stark contrast that he appreciated. The furniture in the room was minimal. A king sized bed with a black, wooden frame, two small, identical tables on each side. The lamps on the side tables were mostly only for visual appeal, since they alone couldn’t illuminate the room enough to allow him to read. There was a bookshelf that came up to his chest against the wall to the right of the bed, the dresser against the wall to the left. The window opened on the wall against which his bed stood, a little to the left of the bed frame. His sheets were white. It was nowhere near as extravagant as his chambers back home, but he liked the simplicity of it. It was a refreshing change.

The newest addition to the furniture of the room was the mirror, black frame etched with the same, unfamiliar runes. It stood just to the left of the dresser, calling out to him every time he entered the room.

Tony Stark was hesitant about letting Loki take the mirror from its secure, locked up storage to his room, but Loki insisted he’d need to watch it as frequently as possible. He carefully omitted the fact that there was a living, breathing human girl inside the mirror. He had decided to keep his mouth shut until he knew what he was dealing with.

It had been a little over two days since his first encounter with the mystery woman. She was still unsurprisingly mute, making the frustration in Loki’s chest bubble more as time went on. In the time that he waited for her to show, Loki would bring small trinkets into his room; pendants, boxes, figures carved from glass. Sitting cross-legged on the bed with a heavy book open in front of him and object of interest in his hand, Loki would work slowly and steadily to break one curse after another, physically feeling the magic ebb away as he muttered and his hands moved. He’d always face the mirror, sit on the bed so that he was right in front of it. He wanted her to know what he was doing. Maybe if she saw that he was trying to help, she’d show herself again.

Loki watched the runes of the box before him sizzle, green light winding through the carvings, before there was a click and the box popped open. As it did, the energy it held dissipated. Loki released a breath. One more down.

“That’s very impressive.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden voice. His head snapped up sharply, eyes meeting faraway ones in the mirror. She was back.

Slowly, Loki placed the box down and stood, though he didn’t make a move to walk closer to the mirror in fear that he might scare her away again.

“I am Loki.” He stated calmly.

The corner of her mouth twitched up just a hint, showcasing what looked like amusement.

“You said that last time.” She retorted.

_I didn’t know if you were sane enough to remember it._ But Loki didn’t say it out loud. Being rude wasn’t part of his current strategy.

“When was that?” She asked, head tilted slightly.

“Two days ago.”

“Hm.” She pursed her lips on thought. “It felt shorter.”

Again, Loki didn’t reply to her comment. Slowly, he took one step forward.

“What I did back there,” he pointed to the now harmless box behind him. “was break a spell. A curse, to be exact. All those items you were with, they’re all cursed. I’m taking them apart and returning them to normal.”

She frowned, but her eyes held intrigue. “You can do that?”

Loki nodded. “I’m not human. I can do things far beyond what humans think possible.”

He took another step forward and continued talking. “The writing on your mirror’s frame, it’s what’s keeping you in. I need to figure out how to break it, and I could set you free.”

“You-” she took a breath, the complete picture finally laid out before her. A renewed, almost disbelieving hope entered her eyes, back straightening. Loki saw, with much intrigue, how her whole demeanor seemed to come alive at the possibility. “You can do that?”

Loki nodded. “I can.” Another step.

Her eyes fell from his and studied his body, the rigidity of his posture, the careful steps. Her expression fell.

“You’re afraid of me.” She mumbled.

Loki froze. “No.” He blurted out immediately. Not thinking, he took numerous steps towards the mirror until he was standing before it. He held her eyes with his own.

“I’m not afraid of you.” He reassured, fearing she’d disappear again. “I was being cautious because…. because I didn’t want to scare you away.” _Nothing like the truth._

“I want to help you,” he continued. “but I can’t do that if you keep disappearing. I want your help if I’m going to free you.”

She seemed to mull the idea over in her head, her eyes never once leaving his. Loki realized, that the longer they talked, the more her stare cleared. He couldn’t understand how she had kept herself from losing her mind all these years, but she was as calm as they came.

“Okay.” She finally agreed. “I’ll help you.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Loki nodded firmly, allowing a small smile to pass over his face.

………………

Y/N Y/L/N. Born October 4, 1927. Orphaned at only 4, her Aunt raised her until she too fell ill and succumbed to disease when she was 17. Three days later, she was picked up by a tall, thin woman with thick eyebrows and a blank face, claiming to help her get back on her feet.

_We just need volunteers for a research programme. _She had said._ It’s completely safe. You’ll be in and out. We pay cash._

It was a good chance to earn money. An easy chance. She could use the help. Could start her life, get a roof on her head. Poverty indeed makes people desperate. She said yes without a second doubt.

The underground facility she was led to was huge and pristine, with technology she’d never seen before. The testing was a long procedure, with rigorous physical and mental examinations before the actual tests even started. She met several other people there, boys and girls her age, all pulled there by the promise of a substantial pay for their contributions. Y/N was not stupid. She realized all too quickly that things were much more suspicious than they seemed. When she asked to see the woman who brought her there, she was always denied.

It was only when the injections started to make them feel woozy that people started complaining. Y/N had watched as slowly, the bodies started dropping. A dead boy here, a collapsed girl there. Terror gripped the group of youngsters as they tried desperately to leave, only to find no escape. The truth hit Y/N like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over her head. They weren’t just volunteers for a research. They were lab rats. This was Trial and Error. For what? She still didn’t know.

It filled her with horror as the number gradually dropped, from about fifty people to thirty, then lower still, until the very end, when only she remained. Fear had gripped her, acute and intense, grip like a vice around her lungs. Something was wrong with her. She could feel it in her veins, circulating in her blood and infiltrating her mind as she cowered in the large room lined with beds. All around her was emptiness, the dead bodies cleared gradually. She was the only one left. And for how long? She had no clue. When the strange men in lab coats came to get her, the lone survivor, her panic skyrocketed.

Before she knew it, they went flying, backs slamming into walls hard enough to knock them unconscious. They couldn’t get near her, no matter how much they tried. Their experiments had been a success. Of fifty participants, one had successfully caught a mutation without perishing in the process. Yes, it wasn’t a replica of the Steve Rogers success story, but it was something. An advanced human. But she didn’t know that.

The problem? She was dangerous to them all. Whoever approached was thrown away like a rag doll. When science failed, spiritual nuts replaced the scientists, mumbling gibberish and mixing strange ingredients together, lighting candles and building fires until they succeeded. And they finally trapped her.

It was that day and this, Y/N Y/L/N lived prisoner in a mirror, watching the pinched, European faces stare at her like she was a monster, watching the world in front of her move, stuck in a place between the living and the dead. The mirror was placed in a room with some other junk, and the door closed. A bang. And then….. nothing. Nothing for half a century but her own mind, a prisoner with no escape. Years had passed like that, until the door was wrenched open by a man wearing a red and gold metal armor.

……………………

Loki was silent for a long time after her story ended. It wasn’t hard for him to fill in the gaps. It was obvious what had happened. HYDRA had taken people and experimented on them, trying to replicate the super soldier serum Dr. Erskine had initially created. Instead, they had created mutants much like Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, only back then they didn’t know what they had done. They had locked her away as a failure, unable to get near enough to eliminate her. She wasn’t a monster, she was merely a gifted individual, exactly like the people who made up the Avengers.

He told her as such, and watched confusion spread across her face. She listened quietly and patiently to all he had to say, not interrupting him. It would take a while to absorb the new information, that much was clear, but he could tell she didn’t refute the explanation. The lack of doubt on her face told him so.

“So you believe me?” He asked. By this time, he had seated himself cross legged on the floor in front of the mirror, and she was sitting exactly opposite to him. Her legs were tucked under her, her hands on her lap, fingers fiddling with the material of her skirt.

The sun was setting outside his window, the sky taking on an orange hue mixed with its usual blue. Slowly as the sunlight faded, the orange poured into his room, flooding the space.

This close to her, Loki took in the light as it fell on her face unevenly, leaving behind sharp contours against her delicate features. She looked almost ethereal under the colors. For a second, Loki was convinced she was otherworldly. Never had he seen a human look this beautiful. Despite the dark circles under her eyes being clearer than ever, she was still a sight he couldn’t bear to take his eyes off of. She looked back at him through the small space before them, and Loki could have sworn he had never met a creature so enthralling, so demanding of his attention.

She nodded in response to his question. “I trust you.”

It was the last thing Loki had expected her to say. It caught him so off guard that he stilled completely, disbelievingly. It had been so long, so _long_, since someone had said those words to him. He was the traitor, the betrayer. Had been for years. And now suddenly, a strange woman in a mirror was putting her life and her future in his hands. His heart raced, breath stilled as he looked at her, really looked at her, and found nothing but honesty and genuine hope.

Momentarily, Loki felt uncertain if he could handle the burden. But he decided he could. It was his duty now. He didn’t care what he had to do. He would get her out. Even if his life depended on it.


	4. Chapter 4

The silence in the room was stifling. All around the table, everyone was still, looking at Loki like he’d grown two heads. He tried to not shift, to not let them suspect that he was quite literally holding his breath in anticipation of their response. Nothing happened.

Eventually, Tony cleared his throat and leaned forward with his elbows on the table. He looked at Loki.

“So, for the sake of a recap, let’s go through this again,” he began. “A strange girl that you don’t know, have never met in your life, that you know next to nothing about, tells you a story about how she got tricked into volunteering for HYDRA?”

“Yes.”

“Of every single person there, she happened to be the only one to survive, and instead of HYDRA working on making her the best weapon they had, they put her in some mirror using wacky magic.”

“I….” Loki pursed his lips. “Well technically, yes.”

Tony stared at him.

“I know for a fact that you’re not stupid.” He said. “So please explain to me how you’re actually buying this?”

“You think she could be lying?” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“I’m surprised you haven’t considered the possibility.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Well, unlike you I did some checking and found out that what she said was true. In the late 1960s, there was a string of disappearances in the town Y/N claims she’s from. She has ID, she’s in the old databases. Everything about her story checks out.”

“You’re sure?” Natasha spoke from where she was leaning back in her chair.

“Positive.”

Silence fell over the room again as the Avengers exchanged suspicious looks with each other. Loki fought the urge to make a bitter comment, letting them deliberate.

“These powers of hers,” Strange chimed in. “From what she has said, it sounds like telekinesis.”

Loki nodded. “So far, yes. Could be more, but she didn’t exactly have time to explore before she was bound in there.”

“And she can’t use the powers from in there?”

Loki shook his head. “That’s the whole point of the mirror. It makes her mutation ineffective. Isolates her, both mentally and physically, from the rest of the world.”

Strange sighed, expression showing his deep thought. “So let’s keep it that way.”

“What?” Loki’s eyes widened and he leaned forward. “You want to keep her trapped?”

Strange nodded firmly. “HYDRA has always dealt with its problems straight on, no matter how dangerous they are. Somehow, this girl was terrifying and powerful enough to warrant them to trap her instead of use her or kill her. Keep that in mind, and then imagine exactly what she’s capable of.”

Tony gave him an incredulous look. “Why do we have to imagine when she’s right there? If we can get her out, we’ll know exactly what we’re dealing with.”

“And if it’s something we _can’t_ deal with?” Strange raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready to take that risk?”

Natasha shifted, making her chair squeak. “Back then she went up against old, unskilled scientist dudes. We’re the most powerful beings on Earth. And we’ve dealt with much worse. I’m sure we can handle it.”

“She’s a person.” Wanda spoke, her first input in the conversation since it started. “I know a thing or two about how uncontrollable new induced mutations can be. She will learn to control it with time. But leaving her there while knowing we could have done something is just cruel.”

Loki felt himself relax a bit at the sound of the others vouching for Y/N. He had been hesitant about letting them know about her, but he knew secrets like this never played over well. He would have had a lot to answer for if he had tried to keep this a secret. He saw a thoughtful yet uncertain look pass over Strange’s face, before he slowly nodded.

“And if anything goes wrong,” he gave Loki a look. “anything at _all_, you tell us.”

Loki nodded, watching everyone slowly stand up as the meeting dispersed. It was a relief, knowing that for the first time ever, him and his _sort of allies_ were on the same page. With a renewed vigor, he moved out of the conference room down the long halls back to his place of stay.

He clicked the lights on, watching his room fill with light. As was his habit now, his eyes fell automatically to the mirror, slowly striding to his bed and removing his black suit jacket, letting it fall on the mattress. He waited for Y/N to show up as he unbuttoned his cuffs, rolling the sleeves up. The jet black was a striking contrast to his pale skin. Loki preferred dark colors, knew he looked good in them. He heard a throat clear behind him and he turned around.

Loki felt a smile take over his face when he saw her standing as she usually did, hands clasped before her, feet pointed slightly towards each other, toes curled as if she was cold.

“How’d it go?” She asked.

A smile spread over Loki’s face at the sight and sound of her. He had to admit, he had grown accustomed to her company in a house where no one said anything to him unless it was work related. He enjoyed her presence, came to like her personality. There was an eternal element of curiosity to her, asking questions shamelessly and without any filter. He tried to answer as best as he could, but it always threw him off how narrow her horizon was.

Loki realized that on top of her young age when she got trapped, Y/N had had no company in almost a decade. She knew so little of the world, and that was both good and bad. Good, because it kept her sheltered from its terrible realities. Bad, because there was so much beauty she had yet to see. No matter how much Loki tried to describe to her the beauty of nature, the cold waterfalls and swooping mountains, the glittering towers of Asgard, none of his descriptions could compare to the real thing. There was so much to see, and Loki wished he could show it all to her. Watch her eyes widen with awe and her mouth drop open as she gazed upon all she had yet to see. She had talked to no one but her own mind for so long, had nothing to think about but the same thoughts over and over, like a broken record. She was hungry for this, starving for conversation, for voices, for someone addressing her and her doing the same.

“It went well.” He replied, walking closer to the mirror. “I’ll start working on the mirror today.”

Her smile was brighter than the Sun. Though a physically impossible feat to accomplish, Loki was certain he’d never seen anything so happy, so radiant. He wished he could tell her the news over and over again, just so he could see the hope transform into unfiltered delight every time.

He traced the gentle swoop of her nose with his eyes, his gaze following the curves of her lips, the bump of her chin, the smooth skin of her neck. Once more he struck by just how beautiful she actually was, tired and weak, but not enough to mask the light that emitted from her.

For a fleeting moment, Loki thought about how much Frigga would have liked Y/N had she met her.

“I’ll get you out of here.” He spoke, looking her straight in the eye.

She nodded, smiling. “I know.”

…………………..

Loki couldn’t remember the last time someone trusted him.

Over the years, he had become so accustomed to the suspicious look in everyone’s eyes when they looked at him, the doubt, the uncertainty. He had accepted it as part of how he was perceived by people. So something about the way she was looking at him now unnerved him beyond what he could comprehend.

“You’re staring.” He mumbled, not looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the broad, iron frame of the mirror, fingers moving over the carvings on it. He had yet to figure out what these runes meant, let alone how to break them. As he worked, Y/N stood as she always did, head directed towards him, eyes trained on him as he worked.

“How long will this take?” She asked. Loki glanced at her briefly before stepping back from the mirror and walking over to the assortment of books on his bed.

“I’ve only just started.” He stated. “I can’t really say, but it will be a while. Maybe even more than a few weeks. It depends on how quickly I can get the magic figured out.”

There was a small silence, which made Loki turned his head to the mirror. Y/N was still there, smiling hopefully at him.

“Only a few weeks.” She breathed. Her happiness was poorly disguised. It shone through the eyes, taking over her face. Loki couldn’t help but smile back.

Sometimes, he wondered how Y/N would react if she knew what he had done. How he’d destroyed the planet she called her own, killed her kind. Maybe she would be like everyone else, not caring that Thanos made him do what he did, putting the blame entirely on him. He wondered if these few weeks while he worked on her prison were the only time he had left with the only person who seemed to remotely care about him.

He pushed those thoughts away before the fear could consume him completely, turning back to the mirror, this time with a book in his hand. As he walked back to the mirror, his eyes caught Y/N again. Her smile was gone, her face filled with curiosity.

“What?” He asked.

“You’re upset.” She stared. “What are you thinking?”

It astounded him again, how well Y/N seemed to read him. Loki was the master of lies and tricks. It threw him off how well Y/N seemed to see through all that. Mostly, he was impressed and even more intrigued by her than he usually was. But times like this, when he wanted to hide his emotions, it unnerved him that she could see something was wrong. One look in her eyes and Loki knew he couldn’t lie to her. He knew he couldn’t.

“I’m not a good man, Y/N.” He whispered, pointedly looking away. “Or at least, I wasn’t. I’ve done terrible things.”

There was a small pause before he turned to look at her. Her expression hadn’t changed. She was waiting for him to say more. He stepped in front of the mirror entirely, facing her. His eyes darted between her own, chest heavy with the weight of fear. What would she think of him now?

“I’ve killed people.” He continued. “I’ve betrayed them. And I've…. I’ve enjoyed it.”

He looked down at the book still in his hand, trying to avoid looking at her.

“I won’t make excuses for it, though I have many.” He huffed out a bitter laugh. “I’ve done what I have. And you… you are my redemption. My catharsis.”

He shifted. “The people here, the man who found your mirror, he asked me to break these curses because I know magic. I’m doing it as a way to absolve myself of the crimes I’ve committed.”

When Loki looked up finally, she was closer than he thought. She had walked to the very edge of the mirror, her hands pressed to it, as if it were a glass separating her from him. And her eyes…. her eyes showed no hatred. No horror. She was smiling.

“Loki.” His heart stuttered at the sound of his name on her lips. “You did what you did. And you’re right, you cannot excuse it. But you can earn forgiveness. That’s what you’re doing now.”

He nodded slowly. “You don’t seem very shaken by all this.”

She laughed a bit, the glass before her fogged by her breath. “I’m no one to judge. I’ve hurt people too. Probably killed a few of them. The benefit of confessing to a monster, I suppose.”

“No.” His reply was immediate. He stepped forward until no space remained between him and the mirror, his unoccupied palm pressed to the cool surface. “You’re not a monster. Not even close.” His face softened. “You….. mean a lot to me. I hope you know this.”

Y/N laughed again, a small giggle that made Loki’s heart warm. “See? You won’t judge me and I won’t judge you.”

Slowly, a smile appeared on his face as well, making him nod a bit. It was like a little trick, a human trick. A deal to not consider each others’ pasts. And Loki was more than happy with that deal.

He returned to the forgotten book, turning to the frame again. His heart felt lighter, the burden removed from it. He placed a hand on the frame and started muttering again.

Both him and Y/N jumped when there was a sizzling sound followed by a _pop_, stilling for a moment. Confused, Loki looked at the green jagged line that had appeared over a few of the markings on the mirror.

“What is it?” Y/N asked.

Loki’s eyebrows furrowed. “I think I just broke a rune.”

“What do you mean you _think_?” She stepped forward, trying to see the frame but of course, that wasn’t possible.

Loki looked down at the book, then at the frame again. “I don’t know what part of the incantation did it.” He stated. “Or what rune it was that broke.”

“But you broke it.” A smile slowly took over Y/N’s face. “That’s good. That’s what you were aiming to do.”

“I….suppose so.” Loki admitted, though he was still uncertain. Magic was an intricate little game. He preferred to know what he was doing instead of just winging it.

But one look at Y/N’s happy face, at the huge smile on her lips, and he knew he had to keep going. This was one rune down. He would disable the rest of them too. He had hope now.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki couldn’t stop looking at the broken rune.

The crack in the iron frame glaringly stood out, like it was taunting him. He sat on the floor in front of the mirror, back leaning against the bed behind him and legs stretched out before him, crossed at the ankles. His face was etched with a frown, hand occasionally reaching up to run through his hair in frustration, trying to figure out what to do next.

It had been a full day of chanting incantations, and there had been no more progress. Loki was sure that breaking one rune would initiate a chain reaction, but it didn’t. Instead, there had been no other indications that the magic was working at all. Not even a change in the Mirror’s vibe.

His eyes drew away from the frame and to the mirror itself when he saw his reflection shift and give way to another figure. He couldn’t help but smile as her image became clearer. He gazed upon her beautiful hair, the strands shining with diffused light. Her face was as calm as it usually was, her characteristic small smile still a constant on her face. He shifted to sit up, crossing his legs.

“You’re thinking very hard.” Was the first thing Y/N said. She was sitting opposite him in the Mirror, her body just on the other side of the surface. Loki scooted closer to her a bit, though he was unsure exactly how close he could get with an inanimate object separating them.

Despite Loki’s increasing worry and the unsettling way only one rune broke, Y/N remained calm and hopeful as always. Loki had assumed it was because he had been the first hope she’d had in many decades and so she clung desperately to him, but when he vocalized the idea, she denied his logic.

“I believe in you.” She had said. “You don’t see yourself right, Loki. Despite this false coat of confidence you wear, you have doubts. Questions. But I _know_ you. I know your heart. And that makes me trust you.”

He didn’t know what to make of her revelation. It was too much to even register, let alone accept. All his life he had yearned to hear those words. And now, when he felt he didn’t deserve them, he was finally receiving them. For someone wanting to hear them for so long, he didn’t know what to do with them. It was a bittersweet feeling that spread across his chest.

They sat facing each other, Loki playing with the loose strands of carpet he was located on.

“I can’t figure it out.” He confessed, gesturing above to the rune that was still screaming at him. “This is not usually how binding magic works. I know I made a mistake somewhere. I just can’t see what it is.”

Y/N was silent for a few moments. “I want you to know something.” She finally said. Loki heard the waver in her voice, and it made his head snap up in shock. Never, in the weeks that had passed, had he once seen Y/N as anything but a calm, confident person. She was always the one reassuring him, yet here she was, looking uncertain and hesitant.

Was he seeing this right?

Instinctively, he scooted as close as he could to the Mirror, crossed knees meeting its surface. He nodded for her to continue.

“If it doesn’t work, don’t blame yourself.” She finally stated, voice firm. Loki stared at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first tresses of dread were starting to filter into his brain.

“Why- why would you say that?” He breathed out. “You’re the one who’s always affirmed me that it will work.”

She huffed out a little wet laugh, and Loki could make out just a thin sheet of water in her eyes. He felt his heart halt briefly at the sight.

“I _am _optimistic, Loki, but I’m not delusional.” She replied. Her hands lay in her lap, fingers twisting each other in an attempt to dissipate her nervousness, her anxiety. “I’m just giving you something in case it doesn’t work. In case I’m stuck in here forever.”

Loki leaned forward, both his palms banging on the Mirror surface. Y/N closed her mouth at the sudden sound, sad eyes peering into his own determined ones.

“You will _not _be stuck in here forever.” He declared, voice firm and final. “I will get you out, Y/N. Hear me?”

Y/N gave a little smile to him now, slowly reaching a hand up to the surface as well. Her left hand placed itself on the other surface of the Mirror, exactly in line with his right one. He watched, eyes and posture softening. Suddenly, he hated the Mirror so much for being a hindrance between them. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to feel her hand against his.

“Would it be strange if I said I love you?”

Her words should have caught him off guard. They should have shocked him straight out of his daze. He should have pulled away, shook his head, moved on. But he did no such thing. Instead, he turned his head to look into her eyes. Her eyes. Loki had traveled to many realms and dimensions, but never had he seen anything as vast and full of life as her eyes.

The urge to hold her was so strong, Loki nearly collapsed under it.

“Would it be strange if I said I felt the same way?”

Her smile was slow to grow but quick to warm his heart. With their hands still pressed to each other’s through the cool surface of the mirror, Loki let himself imagine, truly and uninhibitedly imagine, what was and what could be.

For the first time, the future didn’t seem bleak.

……………..

Stark was happy enough about the rune, and he didn’t seem to get why Loki was so worried about it breaking.

“It’s a good thing. We want that. Breaking runes is progress.” He said one morning over breakfast. Loki watched him pour a glass of orange juice for himself as he spoke. He was leaning against the counter. It was still very early, giving Loki the opportunity to discuss this with Tony without interruptions. He was glad Strange wasn’t there, knowing he was already hesitant about Loki’s little project. He would shut it down immediately when he heard of the Mirror’s strange behavior.

“But magic like this is often like an interwoven network.” Loki replied. “You can’t snip off one piece without destroying the whole structure.”

Tony hummed a bit, licking his lips. “Well then, you’ll just have to break the rest of them before this whole thing collapses.”

Somehow the thought wasn’t comforting at all.

By the time Loki returned to his room, he had no new plans, though that wasn’t surprising. Inspiration wasn’t exactly striking him much in the last few days. He walked to the Mirror now, staring at his reflection.

“Y/N?” He called, wondering why she wasn’t here. Usually, she was already waiting when he came back, giving him a strange sense of being wanted, though he would never admit that out loud. They would stay in his room for hours on end, both leaning against their sides of the glass, Loki telling her stories of his very long life, his family, and the rare friend or two he had had over the centuries. He spoke of his sheltered upbringing, his preference to stay alone, his introverted tendencies. In exchange, he was curious to know about her. She always insisted her life was very short and unimpressive compared to his, but Loki loved hearing about it much more than he loved telling her about his.

He swayed on the balls of his feet, hands buried in his pants pockets as he waited for her to come. But she didn’t.

Loki frowned, leaning forward. “Y/N? It’s me. Where- where are you?”

No reply.

Loki felt a mild panic set in his chest, hands pressing to the Mirror and face as close to it as possible, squinting. His breath fogged up the mirror before him, but it didn’t deter him.

“Y/N!” He knocked on the glass, trying to elicit a reaction. Nothing happened.

Now feeling dread settle on him, Loki turned back to the stack of books on his bedside table, grabbing a large, leather-bound one. He flipped through the pages, knowing he would probably not find anything but still hoping there was something in it to help him.

His heart nearly jumped into his throat when he turned around to see Y/N in the Mirror, standing straight and still before him.

“Odin’s beard…” He cursed, dropping the heavy book with a loud _thump_. She didn’t look at him, instead opting to stare at her hands. Loki pressed himself close to the Mirror again.

“Y/N….” He called softly. “Where were you? I- I was so worried. I didn’t know what to do.”

She didn’t reply, she didn’t move. Her posture was so rock still, Loki knew something was wrong.

“Darling,” he tried again, feeling her stir at the word. When had he ever imagined he’d call someone that? But it felt right. It felt good. “talk to me. What is it?”

It was only then that she moved, holding her hands up before him. Loki looked at them, feeling his eyes widen and face contort with confusion. Instead of smooth skin, he saw wrinkles and dark spots. His mouth fell open at the sight, unable to believe what he was seeing. These weren’t Y/N’s hands. These hands looked like they belonged to a woman well in her nineties.

“What-” He tried to speak, tried to think of a logical explanation, but he found only one. His face paled.

“The rune…” He looked at the crack, feeling once again, that it was laughing scornfully at him, as if threatening to bring bad news. And it had.

“Loki, what’s happening?” Y/N’s voice was quiet, a tremble audible in it. The fear in her words only increased Loki’s own horror.

He didn’t want to say it. It was only an assumption, but he was sure he was right. He cursed his bad luck. Cursed the way Fate had worked. He had never believed it to be so cruel but here it was, taking away the only good thing that had happened to him in years.

Binding magic involved a number of different elements that made it work. In many ways, it was like a mathematics algorithm. There was a formula, a rune, for everything that held the magic in place. Every rune had its purpose, hence why breaking just one was bugging Loki so much. And he had been right. Breaking only one rune _had _caused trouble.

The rune he had broken was responsible for keeping her immortal while she was in the Mirror.

His eyes turned back to her hands, watching the loose, slithery skin. Over her hands, from her wrists up, was smooth skin, _her _skin, but Loki knew it was only a matter of time before it would spread. Over her arms, her legs, eventually her heart and brain. It was like a virus, and it would show no mercy as it stripped her clean of every bit of life that filled her.

This girl, the weeping and panicked person before him, the woman he had fallen in love with, was going to waste away before his very eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Thor watched his brother, standing in the doorframe of his room. He didn’t want to walk in any further in case he disturbed Loki. He watched from the corner of his eye a figure in the Mirror that had captured Loki’s interest. The girl was silent as she looked on as well, just as Thor himself was. He wondered if she felt as helpless as he did right then.

Thor wondered if he should say something, but what? That everything was going to be okay? That it would all work out? No. Thor couldn’t so blatantly lie to his brother. He knew the chances of this woman surviving were very slim. So he kept his mouth shut as he looked on, feeling his heart break when he took in Loki’s disheveled state. He wished he could comfort him, but he couldn’t move into the room, not with everything happening in there.

The whole space was a mess. There were books on the floor, some floating in the air, open at certain pages. There were some old artifacts Thor recognized as his mother’s. He vaguely remembered her using them in magic of some sort. He figured that was what Loki was doing with them now. Despite being inept in magic, even Thor could feel the crazy atmosphere of Loki’s room, and that made him even more nervous.

He didn’t even want to know what Loki was feeling at that very moment.

Loki couldn’t remember a time when he had felt panic this acutely. He had felt a myriad of emotions in his many long years. Pain. Betrayal. Maybe even a sense of love and kinship. But never panic of this magnitude. Never like this.

It was all so much at once that he decided to turn it off completely. Lock all his emotions in a cage and let them rest there until he was out of this dilemma. He needed to be level headed and calm. He could do this. He _had_ to do this. Because he didn’t know what he would do if he couldn’t find a way.

“Loki.” He heard her, of course. But he still chose to ignore it, muttering some words into a rare gem that belonged to his mother. It was a carrier of concentrated energy, stronger than many of Midgard’s most devastating hydrogen bombs put together. If carefully constructed enchantments wouldn’t work, he’d use brute force.

“Loki.” She sounded tired. Resigned. Loki had always attributed hope and optimism as two of Y/N’s most prominent traits. The voice he heard right then was nothing like how he’d always seen her. He could feel his chest constrict at the thought.

Loki screwed his eyes shut briefly before opening them again to bring him back into focus. He could do this.

“Loki-”

“_What?_” The gem fell on the bed with a small plop as Loki turned around, a deep scowl on his face. But it was wiped the moment his eyes met hers. And then the dam broke.

Loki shakily took some steps towards the Mirror, which was almost impossible to do. His limbs felt like lead. He heard shuffling as Thor left the space, leaving only him and Y/N. He could see she was on the verge of losing it herself. He could see her hands trembling. But he didn’t know if it was because of the aging process or because of the fear.

Loki felt himself collapse.

His face scrunched and his eyes screwed shut as he rested his forehead against the Mirror, right against where her own forehead was. If he tried hard enough, Loki could imagine her warm skin against his cold one, he could feel her breath on his cheek.

“I’m-” He began, but the knot in his throat made it impossible to speak. What was he going to say? Sorry? For failing her completely? He didn’t think he could do that.

But even in the unbelievable circumstances, even when the prospect of impending death hovered right over her, Y/N shook her head slowly, reassuringly, as if he were the one who needed consoling.

Maybe he did.

“It’s okay.” She whispered. Her voice was thick with unshed tears, and just as she spoke, one trekked down her cheek slowly. She sniffed.

“It’s not.” Loki replied. He wasn’t surprised at the crack in his voice. It was only a small manifestation of how broken he was on the inside. He placed his hands on the Mirror along with his forehead, sure that he would fall if he didn’t have any support.

It was a cruel world. That was all he could think.

……………….

The sky outside was dark, only a faint orange hue left in the sky. The sun was more or less gone as darkness took its place, the lights around New York slowly turning on and transforming the city into a beautiful landscape of floating lights.

Loki looked out the window from his spot against the Mirror. He had his side pressed to it, using it as a support to rest his tired body against. He had been standing for the better part of the day. He needed the rest.

Y/N sat opposite to him, her own side against the Mirror. She was facing him in the Mirror, and Loki could almost feel like she was sitting right there, in the same space as him, instead of in another dimension entirely.

Silence reigned the room, and Loki wasn’t too keen on breaking it. He was utterly exhausted. His head was swimming with words and incantations, formulas and tricks. But nothing that was useful. Because nothing worked.

He’d tried everything.

His room was trashed, books sprawled all over the floor precariously, objects of various purposes strewn around. Loki was a tidy person in general. He liked his spaces clean. Now, he could honestly say it was the least important thing to him.

“So you’ll just be silent?” She finally spoke, and Loki nearly lost it just hearing her voice. Instead, he gritted his teeth to practice restraint, taking a shaky breath in.

“I suppose.” His voice was hoarse, tired. Guilt and fear tugged on every muscle of Loki’s body, making it unable for him to move.

“You would rather I spend my last moments with this version of you rather than leaving you while being at peace?”

_Leaving you._

Loki turned his head and looked at her, _really_ looked at her. He took in her wet eyes, the dark circles under them. Her cheeks were blotched with tears, her lips were chapped. Her hair was slightly messy from her running her hands through it in frustration.

Yet, Loki had never seen someone so beautiful.

“Don’t say that.” Loki heard his voice crack. He swallowed hard to try and keep his tone leveled. “Don’t you dare say that to me.”

“Say what?” She asked. “That I’m dying? It’s the truth, no?”

Loki felt his eyes water as he looked at her, he felt his chest heave, his being shake. “I failed you.” He choked out.

Surprisingly, Y/N let out a laugh. “Failed me? Darling, you gave me life.” She sat up a bit, leaning towards him. At least, as much as she could through a Mirror. Her legs drew up, arms wrapping around them. She looked so small to him then, so helpless.

“Before I met you, I was alone. Trapped in a space that was…. nothing. Blank. Empty. I was half insane, completely lost. Then you were there, like a lighthouse to guide me, and you became my everything.”

“Don’t talk like that.” A lone tear escaped the corner of Loki’s eye. “Like you’re giving a farewell speech.”

She smiled at him. “Do you really want to try denial, Loki?”

He knew she was right. He was in denial. He was about to lose her. Even as he sat there, he could see the little wrinkles climbing up from under the collar of her shirt. He let a finger trail over the glass where he saw her bent knee, yearning to feel her. She watched the movement, letting him do as he pleased. It was silent again, but not for long.

“Before I was trapped in here,” she began. “I was placed in a room back in HYDRA. It was after all the other volunteers had died. I was the sole survivor, and I hated it. I was so alone and so terrified. My… powers had just started manifesting, and I could feel them. Like a lingering itch in my head. It was driving me insane.”

She played with the material of her dress. “I was on the verge of losing it when I decided anything was better than the situation I was in now. Even _nothing _was better than that situation. And so I decided to end my life.”

Loki felt himself inhale at the revelation, watching her intensely. She was telling the story with complete detachment, like she was talking about someone else.

“They put me in the Mirror before I could attempt it. But had they given me even one more day, I would have gone through with it. It was only a matter of time.”

She looked to him now, face pained and raw with emotion. “What I’m trying to say is, I was dead long before all of this happened. Even before the Mirror, my life had ended. Being in here for so long only solidified the idea. Death isn’t anything new for me. I’ve been half dead for a long, long time.”

She sat up, crossing her legs and placing a hand on the Mirror. Loki watched the wrinkled skin of her fingers.

“This isn’t scary to me, Loki. It’s normal. The only thing I’m fearful of is-” She faltered. “is how long it will take. How much it will hurt.”

Loki shut his eyes, lowering his head to try and get a grip on himself. He didn’t think he could stand hearing how afraid she was. Not when he had promised himself he would protect her with every fibre of his body.

“I want it to be done quickly.” She continued. “And I can see that that won’t happen. So I want to ask you one last favor.”

Loki looked up, eyebrows furrowed.

“A favor? What could I possibly do for you?”

Y/N was facing the Mirror now, making him do the same. She pressed both her hands to the glass, giving him a pleading look.

“Break the Mirror.” She whispered. “End my misery. Please.”

Loki felt the room around him still, his own breath halt. He watched her, eyes darting desperately between her own, trying to process the words.

“Are you-” He took a breath. “You’re serious.”

She nodded firmly. “I am. Loki please. This is what I want. I can already feel the breathing getting harder to do. I can’t go through that. Please break the Mirror. End this.”

“No!” Loki jumped away from the Mirror, standing up. She followed suit. “I can’t- you can’t ask that of me.”

“It’s a lot, I understand.” She was wringing her fingers together as if nervous. “But it’s my last request. I’m too frightened to go through what is happening to me right now. Please, I beg of you.”

Loki continued shaking his head as she spoke, face contorting. He felt a tear fall from his eyes, then another. “I can’t. Y/N, I can’t.”

Y/N had pressed herself close to the Mirror, face still wet. “C’mere.” She mumbled.

Loki stepped closer to her, his vision blurring as more and more tears ran down his face. He sniffed a bit, unable to believe how vulnerable he felt at that very moment. It should have scared him, shocked him. But it felt strangely suited to the situation.

“I love you.” She whispered. “I’m in love with you. You have made the little time we’ve spent together the best time of my life. And I hope that someday, we’ll see each other again.”

Loki felt himself choke on a sob, not making a sound. He pressed his hand to hers, feeling so broken, he could barely breathe.

“I-” He struggled. He had so much to say that nothing was coming out. He scanned her face again, wanting desperately to commit every angle, every line to his memory. He wanted to remember her forever, to wake up with her in mind and go to sleep with her as his last thought. And what he wanted, more than anything, was for her to be there with him. But he knew that wasn’t possible.

The denial was disappearing. And in its place, grief was slipping in.

“It’s okay.” She sniffled, giving him a watery smile. “It’ll all be okay. You’ll see.”

Loki turned away from the Mirror, eyes falling on the wall opposite to it. He felt his body heave with sobs, his chest constricted and his limbs shaky. He hand clenched into a fist, which he raised up.

In one swift motion, Loki spun around, his knuckles making contact with the cold, smooth surface.

The noise of the Mirror shattering was deafening in the otherwise silent room. Pain shot up Loki’s hand, the sting of the glass settling in his split skin. He screwed his eyes shut as glass shot everywhere, littering the floor before him, some pieces sticking to his clothes.

When Tony Stark rushed into the room two minutes later, he found the god on his knees surrounded by broken glass, face tear stained but blank, staring at a broken mirror before him.

…………….

Loki didn’t know exactly what he had expected- no, _hoped_\- would happen. But it was certainly not this.

He stood in the vast green ground outside the Avengers compound, watching the building that had been his home for more than two months now. It was quaint and silent, almost as if his life hadn’t fallen apart within its walls.

Thor stood a few feet to his right, conversing with Tony about the course of action from here on out. Loki waited for him to finish, feeling his thoughts wander. He remembered when he had first set foot on these grounds, foul mood and permanent scowl. He remembered how hard it had been to agree to come here. Thor’s constant insistence. He had come here with only one thought in mind, _redemption_. Thinking about it now, Loki nearly laughed out loud. What even was redemption now? Did it matter to him at all what he’d actually come for? He’d come to finally deal with his debts, to clear his name, to obtain catharsis.

What had he gotten? A deep sense of loss, grief, and an unprecedented feeling of emptiness.

Loki didn’t move as Thor finally approached him, as he called up the Bifrost to Heimdall, as the light engulfed him and he was floating. When he opened his eyes, he saw before him in the distance the mighty glittering towers of Asgard, his place of birth.

For some reason, Asgard didn’t feel like home to Loki anymore.


	7. Epilogue

How impactful does an event have to be in order to change someone’s outlook completely? Loki imagined it was a lot, and he didn’t know what to make of the fact that Y/N seemed to have changed his outlook.

Asgard was exactly how he had left it, but somehow it seemed dimmer, foggier. Loki walked down the halls as he always had; back straight and graceful, almost gliding over the expensive marble floors. His chambers were how he had left them, except maybe cleaner now. It all looked the same, but it wasn’t. Loki felt himself inhale deeply as he looked around. He had lived in this space before. And he had returned to it, now a different man.

The future seemed bleak and uncertain, two words Loki had never associated with himself.

It was easier to slip into his old routine than he had thought. He had assumed it was over for him, that he would sink to a life empty of ambition and purpose. But Loki felt himself fit into the mold of his old life exactly as before. The only difference was the acute emptiness in his heart, the feeling of lifelessness, that stuck out like a glowing beacon. Loki felt eyes on him when there were none, as if people would look at him and feel sorry for him. But of course, no such thing happened.

He realized that losing someone didn’t mean that life would stop. It would keep on spinning as usual. Only a hole would remain where his happiness once was. Taken away from him before he even properly had it.

Loki had thought many times over the weeks how he would bring Y/N here once he had set her free. He had fantasized about showing her the beauty of Asgard, of seeing her walk down the halls in the characteristic flowing dresses he saw other Asgardian women in. He had anticipated eagerly the moment when he could finally touch her and hold her close to him. He would breathe her in and never let go. He had never thought this wish would be too much to ask for. Apparently, it was.

Of all the people there, Thor was the only one who truly felt his pain. He would come by often, but he wouldn’t offer petty words of condolence. He would sit silently with Loki, both looking out at where their kingdom lay, and that was enough. A partner to break Loki’s solitude. It was more than Loki had anticipated, and he was grateful.

Two weeks after his return, Thor came to Loki like he always did. He found his brother in his study, reading out of an old hardcover book.

“Loki,” he breathed. And there was something in his voice that made Loki look up. A poorly concealed excitement. Anticipation. Relief, almost.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him, standing up and shutting the book.

“Come.” Thor said before turning around.

Loki scrambled to follow him, immediately noticing the change in the atmosphere of the palace. He saw some guards eye him a moment too long as they passed him the the hall, making him narrow his eyes. Everyone seemed to be bustling around more than usual, as if anticipating something.

“Thor, what is it?” He managed to say, watching Thor approach two horses and climb onto one.

“Just trust me, brother. You won’t be disappointed.” Was the only thing he replied with before the horse galloped off in the direction of the Bifrost, Loki hurrying to catch up.

Even from a distance, Loki could see people standing just outside the Bifrost. His eyes squinted, trying to catch the figures. It was a man and a woman, and Loki immediately recognized one of them as Tony Stark, the characteristic red gleam of his suit giving him away. When his eyes fell on the woman, his heart stopped.

It had to be a trick, maybe light falling the wrong way. But the closer he got, the clearer she became. She was wearing loose fitting blue jeans and a hoodie that was two sizes too big. Her hair fell loose over her shoulders, and her hands were clasped nervously in front of her. Her eyes fell on the two horse riders coming closer in the distance.

He felt his horse stumble a bit and whine, making Loki snap out of his shock and realize that he was digging his ankles into the horse. He petted it a bit for comfort, slowing as he neared the Bifrost.

“I came as soon as I got word.” Thor was saying. He proceeded to talk more, but Loki was no longer listening. His eyes were still trained on her, climbing shakily down from the horse. Her eyes met his and his heart squeezed painfully. Her expression, that was blank up until now, twisted to one of confusion.

“You,” he heard her whisper. “I know you.”

Questions entered Loki’s mind, but before he could open his mouth, Tony stepped forward, gaining his attention. He had an apologetic look on his face.

“She showed up at the Tower two days ago. She doesn’t remember the Mirror, only what happened right before she got trapped in there.”

Loki turned back to her, feeling his eyebrows furrow as he absorbed the information. Tony stepped forward so as to whisper without being heard.

“She kept mentioning a man with grey eyes and pale skin and I’m pretty sure she meant you. Turns out, I was right.”

Loki walked over to where she stood, steps slowly and slightly wavering. He watched as she eyed him up and down, and he could see, even from there, the recognition spark in her eyes. Just a flicker of it, but it was there. His chest loosened as the prospect, feeling tears coat his eyes. He rapidly blinked them away.

“Welcome to Asgard.” He managed to choke out.

……………………..

The knock on the door was as soft and non intrusive as Loki could make it, opening the door slightly to allow him in. He saw Y/N sit up in the bed, looking weary. He could understand that journeys across realms could leave humans groggy and dizzy, and Thor had suggested she lay down before moving around too much. Loki silently agreed, though he was too tongue tied to say.

He opened the door farther to allow a maid to push a trolley into the room containing as many assortment of foods as was possible to fit. She stopped before the bed as Loki sat on the edge of it, nodding to her.

“Thank you, that will be all.” She bowed before leaving.

Y/N was looking around the room with a curiosity and wonder that was so characteristic to her and her alone, it made Loki inhale sharply. She didn’t look confused. There was no fear. Loki almost felt like she belonged there, lying in his bed with his sheets over her legs. It made his chest fill with warmth, and suddenly, the last two weeks had been erased.

Loki turned to her, feeling his hands get slightly jittery, which was ridiculous. Loki had never been nervous in his life.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, though he could see her thoughts were already miles away.

“I know you, don’t I?” She was saying. Her voice was low and would have been almost indecipherable had the room not been so deathly silent.

Loki nodded slowly. “What do you remember?”

She looked like she was thinking, a small crease appearing between her eyebrows, and it took everything in Loki to not reach forward and smooth it out.

“A small white room. Then there was a flash of light. Then, nothing. It’s like I fell asleep for a very long time.”

Loki nodded, gritting his teeth. Memory spell for her time in the Mirror to make sure she was still sane when she came out. Wait…

“How- what happened after you woke up?” Loki busied himself in pouring her some tea. He couldn’t look at her much longer. Not when she looked so beautiful and at peace. It was like rebirth. This was Y/N without decades of loneliness and isolation weighing on her. This was an innocent, purer Y/N. The dark circles under her eyes were gone, the cut on her jaw had vanished. She was as if washed from all that had troubled her for so long.

“I was in a large ground on the grass. There was a burn mark there, a large circle with strange markings in it.”

Loki stopped pouring.

He realized then, what exactly had happened when he broke the Mirror. While inside the object, Y/N was suspended in the realm between the living and the dead. When the Mirror broke, nothing changed. Not at first, at least. She was still there, just invisible to him. As he traveled back to Asgard, her soul had followed him to the last place he was while still on Midgard; the ground outside the compound, from where the Bifrost had pulled him and Thor up. When her soul had finally escaped, it had materialized where she was physically closest to him.

Even on the brink on existence, Y/N’s soul had chosen to be close to him.

Loki watched her, eyes wide and getting wetter by the second. He felt himself suck in a breath at the latest revelation, unable to truly absorb it. She was looking at him curiously, trying to decipher why his movements had stopped. “Loki?” She called softly.

It was his name on her lips that finally broke him.

………………..

The horse neighed impatiently, making Loki run a hand over his body to try and calm him down. He looked back at the palace, wondering what was taking her so long. They were losing daylight and had a lot of ground to cover. She had to hurry if she was going to see even half of Asgard.

He felt his lips twitch into a smile when he saw her finally, walking down a few steps onto the path that led her straight to him. Her dress was a beautiful bottle green with a plunging neckline, a golden sash holding it at the waist. A black cape tied at her neck covered her bare shoulders. It was slightly fancier than what the other Asgardian women would wear. Loki didn’t mind though. He was the one who requested it to be so. She deserved only the best.

She smiled wide when she got near enough to him, not stopping until she was right before him, pushing herself up on her tiptoes and laying a gentle kiss on her lips. Loki rested a hand on the small of her back, smiling.

“Ready?” She nodded excitedly as Loki dismissed the guards and Y/N’s maid, helping her onto the horse. They had a full day’s trip ahead of them. It was Y/N’s idea to mingle among the people. To her, the palace was too large and too empty. She wanted to talk to the locals, eat street food and dance her heart out. If it meant she had to drag Loki everywhere with her, she wouldn’t hesitate.

“I still think this is a bad idea.” Loki called back to her as her arm wrapped around his waist, her body warm against his back.

“Hush. You’ll love it.”

I love you. Loki didn’t say it. Not yet. This was all still new. The time would come, and soon. And when it did, Loki would say it a million different ways. For now, the warmth in his chest and the peace in his mind was enough to keep a huge smile on his face as the horse trotted out of the palace gates.


End file.
